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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
10:56 pm
TAKE ME AS I AMCollapse )

(2 <3s | Do you love me?)

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
11:18 pm
I'm all packed up. Well, for the most part. It makes me sad.

I still don't know if I want to go to Austria. I'm 50/50 right now.

I don't know if I want to come back here next Fall, either.

I'm so confused.

I wish I could make any decision about my life right now. Or at least cared about my exams.

And sad. Really sad.

Fuck you, Jake. Fuck you for messing up my life so much. I have tried so hard not to let you. But what you did to me still hurts. And it will for a long time. I am not an angry or vengeful person, but I really hope that something happens to you, legally. I want you to pay somehow for what you did to me.

I want to be here for the hearing; I feel like I need that closure.

Heidi made me a CD that makes me cry.

"Breathe (2 AM)" makes me cry because it reminds me of right after...2 AM and I called her because she was still awake. "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?" It felt like a mistake. "Winter just wasn't my season."

"YOu can't jump the track - we're like cars on a cable/ Life's like an hourglass glued to the table/No one can find the rewind button, girl/So cradle your head in your hands/And breathe."

(Do you love me?)

6:21 pm
Just breatheCollapse )



2 AM and I called her because she was still awake...

(Do you love me?)

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
11:44 am
On top of everything else, I do not need this.

All those times I was there for him, everything I did for him, and now he apparently found someone closer, so he decides to quit talking to me? Sweet. Not even an explaination. I think I at least deserve that.

Good day, sir. Good day.

I guess I never was good enough for him, either. That hurts.


On another note, I keep waking up and thinking that this day will be the day that I won't cry about what happened. I'm always wrong.

I'm still angry, too. So angry.

(2 <3s | Do you love me?)

Sunday, March 16th, 2008
1:07 pm
I don't need this right now. On top of everything else, I do not need this.

I think there are about 3 guys I even want to talk to right now. Ben, Dan, and Matt. That's it. THose 3, and girls.

I wish I had some idea of what I want to happen in the next six months of my life.

I have no idea where I want to go to school.

I have no idea if I want to go to Salzburg or not.

I hate feeling like this. I just want everything to be normal again.

(Do you love me?)

Friday, February 29th, 2008
2:08 pm
"Our obligation to be “nice” expires the moment someone fails to respect us when we say no."

(Do you love me?)

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
12:02 am
"I had a sex dream about Napoleon [Dynamite]...not Jon Heder, Napoleon, with the nasty curly hair. I've never looked at him in the same way since."

"We'll have a different thing in each room! A Rockband room, a sexy time room, a room where you just eat red things..."

These are my friends. I love them.

(Do you love me?)

Saturday, February 16th, 2008
4:57 pm
"If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, you've got to stop accepting crap and demand something more."

As much as we both want these puzzles pieces to fit, they won't. I'm tired of trying.

(Do you love me?)

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
12:41 am
"No, Emily, you know I love your cleavage. I am so glad you brought it over to play."

"It's like me with poodles...I always want to stab their eyes." Maybe just poke them and see what happens. I always think black liquid will squirt out.

hahaha

(Do you love me?)

Friday, February 1st, 2008
1:40 pm
Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live.

(1 <3 | Do you love me?)

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
12:05 am
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line
If I said I missed you?

(Do you love me?)

Saturday, January 12th, 2008
11:26 am
• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20):
Turn from the past, and get on with the business of being the person you’ve always wanted to be.

(Do you love me?)

Monday, January 7th, 2008
1:31 pm
GO BUCKS!Collapse )

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Sunday, January 6th, 2008
4:35 pm
I moved in today with an OSU t-shirt on. I think it's clear where my priorities are.

I don't want to be here. At all. I won't lie; I didn't miss it even a little bit when I was gone.

I am trying to be positive, but it's so hard. Cortney's gone. I am stuck here for ten weeks.

I miss...someone who probably isn't worth my time anyway.

PS: I am excited for the game tomorrow night, however.

(4 <3s | Do you love me?)

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
6:44 pm
I go back to OU in 5 days. I cannot even describe how much I do not want to go back.

Then I am going to Salzburg in 12 weeks, for 10 weeks. Taking all German classes. I am having a mini panic attack right now.

(Do you love me?)

Thursday, December 13th, 2007
9:57 pm
The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, the thing that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt.

Just because people do horrible things doesn't always mean they're horrible people.

(Do you love me?)

9:02 pm
I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.


Meredith: [narrating] Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

(Do you love me?)

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
11:10 pm
Why do you make me smile so much?

Damn you.

(8 <3s | Do you love me?)

Monday, December 10th, 2007
11:03 pm
Thanks to a fantastic combination of Matt and Nisha's advice, I feel better.

I will just let myself feel whatever I feel. Let it run its course, and in time, I will be better. I can't tell my heart what to feel (obviously...I've been trying), so I will relax and quit trying.

I'll get there. It will just take time.

(Do you love me?)

Sunday, December 9th, 2007
11:15 pm - One Fine Wire...that is how I feel.
One Fine WireCollapse )

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